For the romantic, the mere concept of quantifying the pain of heartbreak seems absurd. How can anyone assign monetary value to the tragedy of lost love?
For the pragmatist, whose calculations favor decimal points in place of heart palpitations, the question is a simple matter of dollars and cents: How much is a broken heart worth?
Shield your eyes, idealists: approximately $8,900.
Every year, the National White Collar Crime Center, a non-profit organization dedicated to the “prevention, investigation, and prosecution of economic and high tech crime,” releases a report (PDF) that provides an overview of the latest data and trends in online criminal activity. The statistics, which are compiled by the organization’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) in conjunction with the FBI, are based on more than 300,000 complaints that detail the depraved – and, admittedly, fascinating – world of cyber crime and online fraud.
Of all of the various types of Internet fraud perpetrated against the public, which include shockingly high incidents of work-from-home, auto auction, loan intimidation, and FBI impersonation email scams, the most tragic are those that prey on the lovelorn: romance scams.
In 2011 alone, romance scams cost Americans more than all of the other common fraud schemes combined: more than 50 million dollars.
$50,399,563.16, to be exact – approximately $8,900 per victim.
Romance scams, which the IC3 receives complaints about at a rate of 15 per day, follow a familiar script: in chat rooms and on dating and social networking sites, scammers seek out individuals in search of companionship or romance. According to the IC3 report, many use “poetry, flowers and other gifts to reel in victims, while declaring ‘undying love.’” The criminals supplement their romantic offerings with “stories of severe life circumstances, tragedies, family deaths, personal injuries or other hardships to keep their victims concerned and involved in their schemes.” Then, they request financial assistance – and the checks come rolling in. 
Perhaps not surprisingly, women constituted the majority of the victims in the 2011 report, losing nearly $40 million to romance scams, or 80% of the total. And of those women, most were over 40 years old, divorced or widowed, disabled, and often elderly. The characterization of the “typical” prey of such romance scams is truly heartbreaking: a single woman in her early fifties, lonely and seeking companionship, who is swayed by gifts of roses and sympathizes with sob stories.
And, before she knows it, has wasted nearly ten thousand dollars on the empty promises of a stranger.
It’s very probable that the incidents of online fraud, both romance and other, are much higher than the estimates of the IC3 report, due in part to the shame that many victims of fraud report experiencing. The site offers fraud prevention tips aimed at educating the public about the dangers of online criminal activity and how to avoid falling prey to a scam.
It’s just not worth the cost of a broken heart.
I have been the victim of romance fraud. Mine was the same in many ways as those you describe, and different in another way. He charmed me for 10 months and then married me. In spite of red flags along the way, I fell hard and was devoted. I think he actually did love me as much as a sociopath can, but he still left me after 7 weeks – probably when he realized I really did have nothing. I think he also felt guilty about the con job, but he couldn’t help himself. I wish I knew more. Was he part of a team effort? Since the only money I spent was on gifts for him and some clothing we purchased together – not expensive – I really can’t prosecute anything. He was a liar and he is obviously a user of women, but he stays this side of the law – relying on the love and devotion of the women, along with their sympathy and compassion because of his sob story to give gifts and offer them freely. He doesn’t actually ask for anything. But, when it comes to the price tag for lost love – it is great! A broken heart is a very high price to pay. Better to have loved? Not sure.
Hi i think i perhaps have a little variation on the theme. Im an very well educated danish woman who after an exictend life now live deep in the swedish polar wilderness. But then i think i would for the last love of my live. And joined a SWEDISH dating site for farmers.: farmer dating . And a nice guy startf talking .an american who loved the polar area.after a couple emails he told he was a sgt. In the us army in afganistan. It didnt bother me lots of both sweds and danes are there. I told him what i do and why i chosed to live so remote.and here comes where im different . Im a very well known seer and remote wiew’er. And damn good at it .its an inhereted ability since generations. Becouse of that it didnt took me long to se the “dubble” man .and then i began my kind of education in scamming . A word i never heard of before.i can “se” the scammars their way of educating new and much much more. I still have the hook in the scammar .i have a very limited digital device. But would be happy to do my part in nailing those scary kind of body snatchers kindest regards lone seibäk with a swedish , ä in my last name instead of my danish æ. Which is the autentic one .i have a fb page to. Hope to get feedback.